Dear Susan... how to procrastinate, productively

Susan is a Distance Learning student of mine, who lives in Wales, UK. Once or twice a year she visits me for a drawing or painting weekend, to recharge the batteries and get kick started on a new set of exercises to work on at home.  Like many distance students, she has a busy life, and travels around the world with work, which is not handy for her art. Last month, she wrote in despair, very frustrated and upset about her latest artwork, had an impressive hissy-fit, and declared that perhaps she'd pack it all in, harUMPH. Joking aside, it was heartbreaking to read. Particularly as her artwork was great..! 

One of the amazing strengths that distance students acquire, is the capacity to stick with it, no matter what the interruptions. This is so very hard. This IS Discipline. My tip for anyone who hasn't been at the desk recently, and is about to resume - recap, revise and recoup before moving on to the next exercise. Refresh yourself by taking a small step back and start simple and small - it'll give you a better spring in your step to move forward. 

So this month I was thrilled that Susan's letter showed she'd turned the corner. With her permission, here is some of our exchange. I have not shown her crit, for that belongs to Susan - the words below show how it FEELS to produce, how it IS to produce and illustrates the rewards of continuing to strive. 

Dear Julie 

Distant Learning Course: Susan B. 

Bloc 3, Exercise 8: Pomegranates on Canvas, June 2014

I feel really pleased with myself. I got back to this exercise this morning – having got up really early to start work. I did find myself procrastinating, putting on a wash, emptying and loading the dishwasher… but I decided it was now or never. Either I do it, or I abandon the whole affair with paint!

I had already done an afternoon on the pomegranates three weeks ago. But, I had to go to Germany for a week, so today was my first free weekend since...

So, I pushed myself upstairs. Julie and her last crit were ringing in my head.

I decided I would look at what I had done three weeks ago, over a slow coffee; have a feel of the paint, and the paint brushes [I need new ones definitely], take my time before I actually do any painting as such.

The start was not so good – despite the effort to refocus the brain and the mind on this. I was rather unsure what I was doing. I thought - ring Julie – she said I could. I don’t know what I am doing here…. I don’t know what to do!!

But, as if by magic, - or now that I look back on it – as if by telepathy from Julie and her crit to me, I for the first time in my life stopped feeling scared!! Scared of the paint, the paper, the task, the output! For the first time ever I had this strong sense that I could in fact let go of all of that – and just paint.

What a difference that makes! I have so, so enjoyed my morning. I have discovered lots. First, although it may seem common sense to know this – I have just realised that what is first put on the page is NOT the finished product; it is important, because it defines the composition and the size of the drawing, and in this case the basic shapes of the fruit. But, it is not the end result. There are processes to be gone through after that and they take time, and they are just as important as the first session at a painting. In fact, it is after the first session is over and the painting is retuned to again, then the layering and the depth, and the richness of the painting begin to emerge. I have discovered layering. I know that Julie often says ‘there was a fair bit of layering’ when she shows you one of her paintings – but this is the first time I understood what she meant! Layering is wonderful – it gives depth and richness to a painting; I used to think that layering was all about putting on paint to fix mistakes. So, you layer over a mistake – and as I make many, - and am constantly frustrated by my inability to draw and to get the composition on the page anyway reasonable [such as not squashing the composition in to the end of the page, and leaving loads of blank space above that somehow has to be filled in!], layering had become for me a remedial action. And Stressful! But, today I discovered layering has a function in its own right – not to correct mistakes. It allows you to make the painting come to life, to enrich the colours, to give more tonal variation, to deepen the image! Ah, I am slow…..

However, I think that I go carried away with the layering idea – and now need to think: there is a difference between layering and turning it all into a mud brown. When to stop? 

I also discovered that by not being afraid of the painting – I could move my brush to make more bold lines. This may not make sense Julie – but I have discovered today that I usually keep to using the brush as a dabbing tool – ‘just a little blot only here - just in case’ approach. Today, letting go of the ‘having to have a painting to frame’ tyranny, I was able to stretch my hand out and make bigger lines, across the pomegranates so as to form the different surfaces, rather than being constrained by the ‘not too much of the brush just in case…’.

I had no idea that painting was so emotionally complex when I started all this – the exercise of painting is like a mirror in to our personalities!! It reveals all!!

I also like using canvas: it has a lovely feel and I like the springy surface. I used only a small canvas – which is less daunting. But, this sacrifices a sense of space. I still find it hard to put in any details with oil colours and with such small working surfaces.

Julie, I owe you big thanks. By keeping your crit in my mind today, I have broken through a real fear barrier! It may rise again, but, I guess now I know it can be scaled….

Susan 

Dear Susan

Many thanks for your WONDERFUL letter. So so delightful to read the difference in your words, in your emotion and your experience since your last letter. I felt great relief in reading. As a teacher, I truly have the best interests of my students at heart, so it was painful for me to read your last letter, so full of self judgement and despair. For you to have lost your balance, and consider quitting painting altogether would have felt to me like my failing - certainly not yours. However, all of this creative path is your own, Susan. No matter how I contribute, it is YOU that does it all.

:)

I guide and explain just enough to get your inquisitive genes flowing, I hope, because there isn’t a Right Answer to much of this. There are multiple-possibles, multiple-probables and lots of OOH, aHA!’s. Even for me who has been doing this for a long time, even for all artists who are striving to be the best they can be. Because at some point, we get it. At some point we realize that WE have to Look, WE have to See, WE have to learn to control our materials. And that’s what makes it a never ending journey of delicious discovery, and whether you are working in a room full of others, or alone in the back bedroom, it is a solitary personal journey. 

Now that I’ve written that, it dawns on me that THIS is why we procrastinate. I do it too. Though I am ‘wise’ enough (which means I’ve been procrastinating on a Professional Level for some time...) to understand the various degrees of procrastinating, and that they are a part of the creative process. Rather than feeling guilty about procrastinating, I think viewing it differently really helps. For example, what if:

1. Inability to get on with the thing that you THINK you SHOULD be doing, means that you aren’t in the right head-space to do it? What if there is something deep within us which resists ANYTHING, when we think we OUGHT to do it? 

2. What if we recognized that in some way we feel a small bit that we are selfish and that spending time doing something for pleasure is wrong..? 

3. Faffing about doing household chores is a form of head-clearing, necessary (for women, anyway) to preparing ourselves to enter the right energy?

4. What if we took a mental review of our own behaviour patterns and worked out our best-time-of-day? Once we identify that time, we can enjoy guilt-free-faffing, so long as we time it right. (I had a sad aha! moment when I discovered this for myself. My children were very young, and my time at the desk was limited and had been for many years, through looking after them. One day they were both invited to friends houses after school, so I was in my studio drawing. Then I noticed the bird song had a slightly echoey sound about it, which I hadn’t heard for a long time. Birdsong has different pitches at different times of the day. This was a late-afternoon sound, and it echoed around the trees. It struck me then that it was so familiar because it had been the sound of, the accompaniment to, my drawing. My Best-Time was from about 3pm onwards. If I was settled at 3, I could work like a train till midnight. And what time do the children leave school to come home...? 3pm.. Recognising this helped me enormously. I forgave myself for faffing. But I also altered my way of working, because I knew that I wouldn’t have access to my best-time for many years to come. So, in order to not have years of frustration, I prioritized my day - I knew that the things I HAD to do, I always WOULD do, even if late at night. So I did the drawings first. This is discipline. And it was a choice. It’s not the same in your case, but it isn’t MUCH different. Your time is very limited. But you ARE choosing!

5. ‘A solitary personal journey’... No wonder you had to force yourself up the stairs. This is difficult! We set standards for ourselves! And on top of that, we go it ALONE?! Good grief, it’s a miracle that we manage it at all, no wonder our bodies procrastinate, for it is EASIER to NOT do it.. Yet, we so want to.. When we feel procrastinative, it is because at some level we know we are taking a journey into our souls. Gulp. And to improve, we have to be honest, vulnerable, open. Those are difficult, very personal things.                         

I am so proud of you!

When we have a long break from things which require skill, there is a fear about starting again. In this instance, the last experience you had was very negative, because you weren’t forgiving yourself, you were forgetting yourself. So your procrastinating was forgivably understandable. 

Because at some point, we get it.  Interestingly, we have to be a certain way into the learning experience before we get it. I think you have gone through a creative rite of passage. You went into the Black Hole, that make or break point, and chose to climb out and carry on. Welcome into the light. 

I am so proud of you!

Now I hope you understand what it means when I say that all artists are learning, always. I hope you understand what I mean when I say that it would be a mistake to assume the paintings in galleries look the way the artist had hoped, when they began them. Often, by the time artworks reach the gallery, the artist has moved on, glad to have stopped those paintings, as the next one will be better... 

Your pain is not over, but it will be frustration tinted with understanding, which is a fine thing. You need to keep the desire alive, the desire to stretch - it’s just that by now, you almost know too much...!! There is no going back! Allow yourself to have fun sessions, and challenging sessions, and recognize the joy in learning new things, over and above the completion. We’re a long time in the learning, we might as well love it! Your job is to balance difficulty-level with pleasure. 

I am so proud of you!

It is interesting to read about your Fear. Recently I have started mentioning fear in my weekly class. Someone was so tense, as they’d missed a couple of weeks (!!) that I could see they were hardly hearing my instructions, for their inner voice was loudly screaming. So I said that the worst thing that would happen is that they would have to start again in 10 minutes, but they wouldn’t actually DIE while trying. The difference that made was astonishing. They were instantly relieved, laughed, and did a great drawing.. What’s going on there then...?! In my absence, please speak to yourself. If you hear yourself say I can’t or I’m rubbish or anything else that I wouldn’t say to you, change it immediately. Soften it to ‘I can try’. ‘I love learning’. ‘I love this so much’. ‘This is going to be fun!’ You could even say, ‘Fear, you’re going to DIE!’ 

I am so proud of you! 

Julie 

For upcoming course info contact julie@juliedouglas.co.uk

www.draw-in.co.uk 

Cutting your cloth, pencil drawing 5H, H, HB, 2B

I love fabric. Recently I dressed a mannequin in shirt, tie and fetching scarf, held together with a leather belt, and accidentally achieved a St Trinian's look (minus the stockings)... However, the effect was of contrasting textures and lovely folds of cloth.

I set it up for my students to draw, but after an evening class, I sat down to have a little go myself - I always hope to join in during the class, but I rarely get the chance. I got invovled more than I expected and decided to leave the mannequin up so I could go back to it. Little did I realise that this would take several sessions over the next couple of weeks. In fact, it got so that I didn't even really notice the St Trinans girl at the end of the table, until a neighbour raised a questioning eyebrow... 

By this stage (above) I was so invoved in the subtleties of the paler tones that I was tempted not to include the tie, as it would shift the balance of the drawing. But in the end, I decided I had to put it all in... 

Cloth on mannequin, by Julie Douglas, pencil on cartridge paper 

I didn't quite complete the left side, as I'd had enough. This drawing is in an A3 sized spiralbound hard backed book, which contains only B&W work. 

A Muse your muse - Step by step Oil on Canvas 8in x 10in

Sometimes, it's good to take a challenge. It helps enormously who gives you the challenge too. It helps to have a Muse. This can be anyone whose opinion matters to you. Know your muse. Make sure your Muse knows you too (you don't just want someone who agrees with you all the time). Then use your muse. A musingly. 

My Muse asked me to take my favourite broken decoration from the Christmas Tree and paint it with the largest brush I could bear. Ooh, challenge indeed! After pondering the broken fairies and chipped sparkly angels, I chose the Santa who's reindeer had lost its front legs but was valiantly carry Santa nonetheless. I was over ambitious and decided I'd do TWO paintings, but ended up completing just one. The first image shows the one which I abandoned  - this was drawn straight onto oil board, which is smooth, and I laid down a diluted wash of burnt sienna to get the tones down. It looks a bit like a water colour at this stage. Adding tones really helps with balance. 

While that was drying I started drawing another one onto canvas. I knew this would be quicker to paint, but cotton canvas is very rough, so the end result would be chunky not fluid. But for the big-brush-challenge, chunky was fine. I drew it directly onto canvas using a colour pencil, quite freely, as I prefer painting over this than painting over charoal. it's a horrible surface to draw on, so rough that it almost sharpens the pencil as you go along! Detail is not possible. I then bypassed the tonal stage and went straight to colour.

Painting with a big brush had major limitations - I did my best to use the tip of the brush or the side only, or to only pick up paint on one small section of it. But finesse was impossible, and tonal balance and shapes became more important than fine detail. 

The end result is farily rough. But it did the job for me - I needed a kick start to focus myself, and being given a Musey challenge did the job. 

I abandoned the first one, on smooth board, precicely because I didn't NEED the challenge of it any more and have begun some tree paintings instead. 

Conkers, drawing and water colour, student work

This year was a good year for conkers. That means the trees were heavily laden, and that lots of conkers had prickly spikes. In wetter years there are fewer conkers, with no spikes,  which makes them less interesting to paint.

If you're a compulsive collector of natural things, like me, you get to know where nature performs well, so you can revisit frequently.. I am blessed that there is a conker tree at the bottom of my own garden - it kind of doesn't get better than that..

Collecting conkers can be a messy business. Lots of climbing and scrabbling in undergrowth..

(son scrabbling under the tree.. )

My students did so many wonderful drawings and paintings of conkers that I haven't room to put them all here, but I'll show you a selection. If you would like to see more student work, I am having an Open Studio in a couple of weeks, so email me and I'll send you an invitation. I am displaying portfolios of their works in progress, showing how students have progressed in their learning journey.

Nisa, student

Pat F, student

Glynis M, student - showing the benefit of attending two classes in one week, and drawing the subject twice. It really pays off to do things more than once. She did the pencil study at the bottom first, then the water colour.

Geraldine B, adding some colour pencil to the water colour.

Judith G, a lovely drawing and only her 3rd class!

Sarah B, student

Caroline, who has forgotten temporarily how much pain was involved in producing her lovely drawing..!

Portrait drawing, Belfast

Yesterday I went to an untutored painting session, with a clothed model, to practice some of the things I learnt at the Grand Central Academy, New York, when I was there in August.

Clare, by Julie Douglas

Truth is I had a presentation to prepare for college - I'd done all the ground work but not yet assembled it. In the past, these preparations have gone on long into the night... So I hadn't time to do an all-day session, but decided I'd go along for the morning one anyway, and try not to feel naughty.. Imagine, using DRAWING as the best form of procrastinating!! (I recommend this. Instead of ironing and tidying up to avoid getting to your desk, use drawing to avoid the housework or any other cumbersome task..) 

It was a loft space, with plenty of room.  I chose an easel and fiddled about for ages deciding on just which spot to set it up for the best view - this involves negotiating with the person behind, lest you block their view. We got settled and the model sat down - she had chosen the outfit, and wore many layers of knecklaces. It was one pose for the whole morning, a different pose for the afternoon - if it had been one pose all day I would have got my oil paints out, but two and a half hours just isn't enough for me. So I was happy with my HB and a sharpener. 

Clare was an amazing model - I've never known anyone sit so still for so long. At her breaks, it was the students who did the most stretching, more than she did - standing at an easel is hard on the back, especially for portrait work as you can't afford to move any more than the model. By the end, I was racing to get it all finished. And I was... exhausted! I look forward to going again. 

Brilliant way to spend the morning, and the presentation was FINE! 

The only down side was the smell of turps, as one person was using oils. This was a terrible shame - there are plenty of odourless thinners available, and just for the record, all others are barred from my studio environment. By the last half hour I was feeling sick. So if you are working in a group situation, be thoughtful and use Sansodor as a thinner, and if you're not using HUGE amounts of paint, Vegetable Oil does a great, odour-free job of cleaning your brushes. 

Next up - intensive portrfolio preparation course, childrens half term art class. Belfast.  For details email julie@juliedouglas.co.uk

EHOD - location drawing in Belfast

This weekend is European Heritage Open Days and I'm holding a couple of drawing sessions in two fabulous buildings as part of that.
I always visit a site before taking students, just to make sure there are good angles and if possible, comfy seats, and to do some drawings.

 For this view, no comfy seats, but we sat on the side bar of the bus shelter (on location, an ability to adapt is vital!), which proved extra useful when it began raining.

My student friend Jayne came with me (Jayne is addicted to location drawing, good woman!) and we couldn't believe it, when we put our drawings together they almost joined up! These drawings took about 40 minutes. 

 The other location was more challenging. Huge interior, very structural with few soft edges. What to draw...?? Eventually I spotted some cast heads up by the ceiling so thought I'd challenge my eyesight and draw one of those. I have to say this is the most uncomfortable I have ever been in producing a drawing, it was a total endurance test. I was, in fact, a bit lower down than the photo shows, wedged between rows of seat. After three minutes my legs were locked and my neck was really sore. But that was nothing compared to the torture of the thumpimg of the piano tuner, on the stage below me.

I soldiered on, and was surprised when I finished to see that it had taken two hours to do the drawing. The piano tuner finished moments before I did - as I was leaving, the maintenance folks were arriving, and were beginning the hammering required to lift the flooring. I was delighted to miss THAT!

If you'd like to come and do some drawing at the weekend (don't worry, I've found a good comfy spot for students, no pain at all) please email me for details and bookings. It is free but you need to bring your own materials.

julie@juliedouglas.co.uk

Lea and Hollie's portfolio preparation - fun and work at the same time...

Yes, they look quiet enough, and they certainly did a brilliant job of ignoring the crowds that constantly streamed past, by totally focusing on their drawings... 

... and look at the SIZE of those drawings!! 

But when they'd finished, they were more than happy to give a good ROAR for the camera!!

Location drawing is good fun, once you get started. The girls were preparing their portfolios and loved doing the giant deer drawing so much that they did a second session of location work, drawing the figures below. Not easy. 

Some all-important sketch book work.. 

Tulips in water colour, student work

I carried the tulips arrangement into a second session as students loved it so much and wanted time to get the painting onto a second stage. Well, this was a spontaneous decision, and it was 'interesting'  having two tables festooned with cloth for two weeks, trying not to move anything, especially as I had a weekend drawing workshop in the middle... Obviously the tulips wouldn't last, so everyone worked on those in the first session, leaving the cloth etc for the second hit. 

The results are wonderful, I am so pleased.

Jayne McC - several hours work

Thomas R, showing the scale. Lovely neutral non-colours. 

Sarah B - showing the whole table around her

This close up of Sarah's painting shows that she drew a larger area first then decided to crop in closer to a more intersting section for painting. 

Nisa V - lovely washes 

Jean C-E - lovely use of the paint, very sensitive. Jean have only just begun working with water colour. Note the colour dots along the bottom of the page, excellent!

Ruth T - interesting cropping, allowing the leaves to pop out over the boundary. This lovely background colour is Antwerp Blue.

Deirdre G

Chad - a beginner to all things drawing and painting

Chad is a lovely student. His family bought him a term of classes as a Christmas present as they were 'fed up hearing him say how much he wanted to paint, but never got around to it!'. Luckily he really enjoys it. However, the most wonderful thing about Chad as a student is that not only is he amazed at what he produces every week, but he is also PLEASED with himself for doing it. This is a marvelous attitude and one we would all do well to aim for. The act of producing something, associated with the pleasure in the attempt, is the reward, more than the result on the page. Of course, this is easier to cultivate as an attitude when we have more success than not, but most students don't notice the success, they see more of the struggle. Let's accept the struggle as part of the success!! 

Jayne had relatives visiting from America during this session, her cousin Jen and her mother Margaret, who were pleased to join in. But as they were new to water colour, they escaped the tulips and enjoyed the famous Banana exercises!

Jen, seated, and Jayne (foreground, bananas, yum!)

I still have some space on the free event for ireland's national Drawing Day on 18th May, which will be held at Belfast School of Art. If you would like to come along, please contact me for more information and to register.

Pencil Drawing, portrait first stage

These drawings are the first stage in a portrait commission. I don't always do a full tonal drawing but I really enjoyed spending the time on this. It took 11 hours in one sitting to do both studies.

I drew them quite freely as I wanted them to look like a drawing - the aim was to give the client an idea of scale, rather than get a strong likeness at this stage, although it does look like the boys.
Working in Black & White helps focus attention in the right place, without the distraction of colours. A portrait is about the people, not the colours.

Next up - Big drawing Workshop, Portrait Workshop, Distance Learning kick-off, Water Colour Landscapes & Skies, Oils workshop. For info email julie@juliedouglas.co.uk